Fw: Anger Management

Hahahahaha!! Here’s an idea……

>
>>
>> Subject: Anger Management
>>
>>
>> When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
>> it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know. Take it out on
>> someone you don’t know.
>>
>> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to
>> make. I found the number and dialed it.
>>
>> A man answered, saying “Hello.”
>>
>> I politely said, “This is Chris, could I please speak with Robyn
>> Carter?”
>>
>> Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear “Get the right *******
>> number!”  and he slammed down the phone. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be
>> so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found
>> that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
>>
>> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.
>>
>> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re a shit head!”,
>> and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘shit head’ next to it,
>> and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
>> or  had a really bad day; I’d call him up and yell, “You’re a shithead!
>>
>> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ‘shit head’
>> calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this
>> is Jerry Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?”
>>
>> He yelled “NO!” and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
>> and said, “That’s because you’re a shit head!” and hung up.
>>
>> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
>> Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and stole the spot I had patiently
>> waited for. I honked the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot
>> he just gave me the finger!
>>
>> However, he had a For Sale on his side windows, with his phone number!    I wrote it down.
>>
>> A couple of days later, right after calling the first shit head, (I had
>> his number on speed dial); I thought that I’d better call the BMW shit
>> head, too. I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
>>
>> He said, “Yes, it is.”
>>
>> I asked, “Can you tell me where I can see it?”
>>
>> He said, “Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It’s a yellow
>> rambler, and the car’s parked right out in front.”
>>
>> So I asked, “What’s your name?”
>>
>> He said, “My name is Don Hansen.”
>>
>> I asked, “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
>>
>> He said, “I’m home every evening after five.”
>>
>> I said, “Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
>>
>> He said, “Yes?”
>>
>> I said, “Don, you’re a shit head!”
>>
>> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
>> had a problem: I had two shit heads to call.
>>
>> Then I came up with an idea. I called shit head #1.
>>
>> He said, “Hello.”
>>
>> I said, “You’re a shit head!”; (but I didn’t hang up.)
>>
>> He asked, “Are you still there?”
>>
>> I said, “Yeah.”
>>
>> He screamed, “Stop calling me.”
>>
>> I said, “Make me.”
>>
>> He asked, “Who are you?”
>>
>> I said, “My name is Don Hansen.”
>>
>> He said, “Yeah? Where do you live?”
>>
>> I said, “Shit head, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow
>> rambler. I have a black Beamer parked in front.”
>>
>> He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don; and you had better start
>> saying your prayers.”
>>
>> I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, shit head,” and hung up.
>>
>> Then I called shit head #2.
>>
>> He said, “Hello?”
>>
>> I said, “Hello, shit head.”
>>
>> He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…”
>>
>> I said, “You’ll what?”
>>
>> He said, “I’ll kick your ass.”
>>
>> I answered, “Well, shit head, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right
>> now.”
>>
>> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
>> 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my
>> gay lover.
>>
>> Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree
>> Blvd in Fairfax.
>>
>> I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just
>> in time to watch the two shit heads beating the crap out of each other in
>> front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter; and surrounded by a news
>> crew.
>>
>> NOW I feel much better.
>>
>> Anger management really does work.
>>                        
>

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