Archive for May, 2011

Safety thought for the day

May 27, 2011
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet were ever in a stripper’s butt crack?
If not, you’re wondering now. Have a nice day!

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Always remember to wash your hands after handling money!

That’s my public service announcement for the day.
Thank you very much!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Please feel free to visit my website at http://akin.house.gov/ to contact me and let me know the issues that concern you.

 

 

LITTLE JOHNNY IS STILL AT IT!!!

May 19, 2011
      LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN! 

  The teacher asked the class to use the word ‘fascinate’ in a sentence. 
Molly put up her hand and said, ‘My family went to my grandad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.’ 
The teacher said, ‘That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate, not fascinating’. 
Sally raised her hand. She said, ‘My family went to see Rock City and I was ‘fascinated.’ The teacher said, ‘Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate.’ 
Little Johnny raised his hand The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before 
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word ‘fascinate’, so she called on him.

 

Johnny said, ‘My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.’
 
 
The teacher sat down and cried.

 

Revoke Big Oil’s allowance

May 17, 2011

Sent: May 17, 2011 12:02 PM
Subject: Revoke Big Oil’s allowance

Veterans and Social Secruity

May 26, 2011
Republicans respect no one but the rich.

Today, a coalition of groups, including VoteVets.org, which I support, released a new study on veterans and Social Security. What the findings make clear is that when the far right talks about stripping down Social Security, or even privatizing it, it will absolutely hurt veterans and their families more than maybe anyone else.
After reading the facts below, I urge you to CLICK HERE so you can spread the word to everyone you know. We need to get facts like this spread around, so people know the stakes.

Here’s just a few points from the report:

· Social Security currently pays benefits to over 9 million veterans—about 4 in 10 veterans.

· Over one-third of America’s 54 million Social Security beneficiaries are either veterans or family members living with them, such as their spouses.

· Of the 13 to 14 million veterans—or 6 in 10—who are not Social Security beneficiaries, the vast majority will become beneficiaries in the future.

· The vast majority of the Active Duty community’s 1.4 million members, 700,000 spouses and 1.2 million children, and the Total Selected Reserve community’s 1.1 million members, 400,000 spouses and 650,000 children, are eligible for Social Security’s disability and life insurance benefits if a service member becomes severely disabled or dies.

· Indeed, approximately 771,000 veterans receive Social Security disabled worker benefits, averaging $1,100-$1,200 per month.

· Social Security’s young survivors’ benefits are particularly important to the 4 in 10 active duty members who are married with children and the 1 in 20 who are single parents.

· As of January 16, 2011, the number of American servicemen and women killed on active duty in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan was 5,860, leaving behind an estimated more than 4,000 children.

Again, please CLICK HERE to send an email like this to everyone you know. Any move like that would severely and negatively impact so many of our veterans and their families.
Thanks for your help.

Sincerely,

This guy wants Senator McCaskill’s seat, yeah, that’s good for Missouri

May 19, 2011

Sent: May 19, 2011 03:54 PM
Subject: From the office of Congressman Todd Akin

 

 

Dear Daniel:

Thank you for contacting me regarding H.Con. Res. 34, the House Budget Committee’s FY2012 budget resolution. It was good to hear from you.

As you may know, this budget squarely faces the need to reform Medicare and Medicaid in order to keep these programs – which so many rely on – available for the long term.

With regard to Medicare, HCR 34 makes no changes to benefits for today’s seniors, age 55 and older. At the same time, this budget reforms Medicare for the next generation. The fact is that Medicare will be bankrupt in nine years. Medicare recipients are already being denied access to the care they want because of the financial stress this program is under. In fact, faced with low reimbursement rates, more doctors are limiting the Medicare patients they accept, if they accept new patients at all. Inaction on Medicare has immediate, negative consequences for seniors. For those under the age of 55, this budget phases the out the current Medicare benefit system, and offers a personalized plan that gives tomorrow’s seniors the same choices members of Congress have. This is a premium-support system, where Medicare pays private insurers for a plan option selected by seniors. It is also income-adjusted so those who need more help get more Medicare premium support. Over time, this plan will drive down costs and improve care by making insurance companies compete against each other for seniors business.

With regard to Medicaid, this budget ends the one-size-fits-all approach to program requirements and enrollment criteria that has tied the hands of state governments. By sending more money directly to the states, based on inflation and population needs, this budget will allow each individual state to offer their Medicaid populations better access to care. The current federal Medicaid bureaucracy produces massive inefficiencies, including a 10% improper payment rate – more than three times the amount of waste that other federal agencies generate.

HCR 34 makes no changes to Social Security. It does not raise the retirement age and it does not reduce benefits or adjust benefits based on personal income / net worth.

HCR 34 also delivers common sense tax reform that will help many seniors. It makes the tax code simpler flatter and fairer. These reforms will reduce the burden on working families and small businesses, which will spur innovation and job creation and make U.S. businesses more globally competitive. We must stop exporting jobs to China and India because of our high tax rates. Lowering the rates on small businesses – while eliminating certain tax loopholes  will give our job creators the advantages they need to lead us out of our current economic malaise.

Current spending rates are digging a hole we will never get out of and passing on a future of debt and despair to our children. In Washington, politicians are used to playing a game of “kick the can down the road.” But our country simply can’t afford that game anymore. We need a clean break from the politics of the past if we are going to make government more effective and efficient. I believe that this budget makes the hard choices. It does what we are supposed to do, not what’s easy to do. And that means a future full of opportunity for all Americans.

HCR 34 passed with my support on April 15, 2011. I am confident that these reforms are the most viable way to reform Medicare while protecting our nation’s seniors and to preserve Medicaid while providing states with opportunities to explore the best ways to assist low income individuals with their health care needs.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact my office. It is a privilege to represent you and I hope that you will not hesitate to contact me regarding any matter where I might be of assistance. Please visit my website, where you can find more information on current issues, share further thoughts with me via email and subscribe to my e-newsletter for updates on issues you care about. For more facts about the 2012 budget plan, you may also visit this House Budget Committee webpage.

Sincerely,

Todd Akin
Member of Congress

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5 NUNS IN A BAR

May 13, 2011
  5 NUNS IN A BAR   


Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick’s Cathedral in   New York City   and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.  It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire’s Pub for a cold soft drink.  

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw  

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Too cute not to forward……………  


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GIVE US A SENSE OF HUMOR, LORD,  

GIVE US THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE,  
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE,   
AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLK

‘Every Day Above Ground … Is A Good Day’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane

             ====Stephen Wright
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From the office of Congressman Todd Akin, who is a fucking liar!

May 13, 2011

Sent: May 13, 2011 02:29 PM
Subject: From the office of Congressman Todd Akin

Claire McCaskill | Missouri's Senator
   
Dear Daniel,
There is more hot air around the United States Capitol about deficit reduction than about any other topic right now.

If we cannot end subsidies to the five most profitable corporations in the history of our planet, then I don’t know how Congress will make the truly difficult decisions about how to reduce the deficit.

Every year, billions of our tax dollars are given away to companies that made $36 billion in profits during this year’s first quarter alone. It’s a practice that must stop. That money could be used to pay down our deficit.

A proposal I announced last week will take away $2 billion in annual taxpayer-provided subsidies from the five biggest oil companies and apply every dime to reducing the deficit. It is the essence of low-hanging fruit. This is the kind of idea that should receive unanimous support in the Senate. It’s common sense.

The big oil companies don’t need the money. Over the last ten years, they’ve raked in nearly $1 trillion – that’s $1,000,000,000,000 — in profits. They’ve broken their own records for the most profitable quarter in economic history several times.

Big oil companies are not hurting, but Missourians are. While you pay record prices at the pump, you shouldn’t be forced to also provide subsidies to an industry that clearly doesn’t need them.

As we address our national deficit this year, there are going to be a lot of tough decisions about how to close gaps wherever we can. Taxpayer-funded handouts to oil companies should be one of the easiest cuts we make.

All the best,

The Tunnel……Condom Ad……….

May 14, 2011
This is on the French Riviera, just outside Monte Carlo.
One of the  best advertisement’s …  ever!!!

 


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Dear Daniel:

Thank you for contacting me regarding federal funding for Planned Parenthood Federation of America, I appreciate hearing from you and having the benefit of your views.

On April 14, 2011, I joined a bipartisan majority of my colleagues to pass H.R. 1473, the Continuing Resolution which will fund the federal government for the remainder of Fiscal Year 2011.  In association with this bill, I supported a separate resolution, H.Con.Res. 36, which would prohibit federal funding for Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPA) and its affiliates. 

This particular resolution has garnered much attention because it has been distorted and miscast as a women’s health funding issue, when in fact it is an issue of the federal government subsidizing the organization providing the highest number of abortion services in the nation.  It is important to me that women are able to access critical cancer screenings, HIV and STD testing, as well as other necessary health services provided by both PPA and other hospitals and health clinics.  These types of non-abortion services are vital to women and to our healthcare system. There are a number of other local health clinics that offer the same services as PPA while not providing abortions. I am fully supportive of these very vital hospitals and clinics.

Unfortunately, PPA has complicated the issue by mingling these critical health services together with a disturbingly prolific abortion practice. PPA is the single leading provider of abortions in the United States, performing over 330,000 abortions in 2009.  PPA’s public relations image campaign leads people to believe that abortion is a minimal aspect of what they do.  But the facts reveal that since 1990, the number of abortions performed annually across the U.S. has declined by 25 percent, while the number performed at PPA clinics annually has doubled over the same time period. During this timeframe, PPA has gone from performing only 8 percent of abortions annually to more than one out of every four.  PPA’s federal government funding has doubled since 1998, and every year the number of abortions they provide increases.  The claims they make in an effort to buy public approval and legitimacy, such as the idea that “more funding for PPA actually prevents abortions,” are factually inaccurate.

There has been a long-standing, bipartisan tradition of withholding federal taxpayer dollars from being used to pay for abortion services. However, approximately one third of PPA’s operating budget comes from government funding, and another third comes from the fees they collect for performing abortions. This entanglement of federal dollars and abortion services under the same roof jeopardizes our longstanding tradition, by the federal government’s propping up an organization that has made abortion so central to its mission and day-to-day activity. 

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact my office. Please know that I will continue to work for my fellow Missourians in the legislative matters I am able to address.

It is a privilege to represent you and I hope that you will not hesitate to contact me regarding any matter where I might be of assistance. Please visit my website, where you can find more information on current issues, share further thoughts with me via email and subscribe to my e-newsletter for updates on issues you care about. 

Sincerely,

Todd Akin
Member of Congress

Join our online community!

 

Facebook

 

 Twitter

 

 YouTube

 

E-Newsletter

 

Please feel free to visit my website at http://akin.house.gov/ to contact me and let me know the issues that concern you.

 

 

Bullshit from Senator Roy Blunt

May 13, 2011

Sent: May 13, 2011 11:57 AM
Subject: Reply from Senator Roy Blunt

Dear Daniel:

Thank you for contacting me on tax increases for oil companies.

The Obama Administration and others have proposed tax increases on oil companies as a way of funding clean energy development.  Some have even proposed these costly measures to pay for completely unrelated measures.  

Burdening our oil producers with new taxes will only make fuel and all goods and services more expensive for consumers.  I do not support policies that would saddle motorists and small businesses already struggling to make ends meet with increased fuel costs.  Only by creating a business-friendly environment with reasonable tax burdens and restricting overreaching government regulation, can we get our economy back on track.

Again, thank you for contacting me.  I look forward to continuing our conversation on Facebook (www.facebook.com/SenatorBlunt) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/RoyBlunt) about the important issues facing Missouri and the country.  I also encourage you to visit my website (blunt.senate.gov) to learn more about where I stand on the issues and sign-up for my e-newsletter.

Sincere regards,

Roy Blunt
United States Senator 

Some Interesting Facts You Probably Didn’t Know About Spiders!

May 13, 2011