Archive for October, 2011

Hey Dubya!

October 22, 2011

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This album has 1 photo and will be available on SkyDrive until 01/20/12.

Men Are Just Happier People – this is funny

October 9, 2011
  WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:  

Men Are Just Happier People —

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet..  

One mood all the  time.  

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own  jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend.  

Your underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.  

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.  

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.  

Send this to the women who can handle it

And to the men who will enjoy reading it.  

 

___________________________________

More of Men Are Just Happier People…

 

NICKNAMES

·   If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

·   If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .

 

EATING OUT

·   When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

·   When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

MONEY

·   A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

·   A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

 

BATHROOMS

·   A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

·   The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 

ARGUMENTS

·   A woman has the last word in any argument.

·   Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

FUTURE

·   A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

·   A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

SUCCESS

·   A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

·   A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

MARRIAGE

·   A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

·   A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

 

DRESSING UP

·   A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

·   A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 

NATURAL

·   Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

·   Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

OFFSPRING

·   Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

·   A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

 

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ….  and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


 

 


 

 

 

 


 

 

 

From the office of Congressman Todd Akin, re: The Older Americans Act. Fuck ’em

October 7, 2011

Sent: October 07, 2011 03:39 PM
Subject: From the office of Congressman Todd Akin

 

 

Dear Daniel:

Thank you for contacting me regarding the Older Americans Act.  I appreciate the opportunity to respond.

The Older Americans Act of 1965 is the major federal vehicle for the delivery of social and nutrition services for older persons.  These include support services, congregate nutrition services, home-delivered nutrition services, family caregiver support, community service employment, the long-term care ombudsman program, and services to prevent abuse, neglect, and exploitation of older persons.  In 2006, Congress reauthorized the act for five years, which will expire at the end of this fiscal year absent further reauthorization.

The proportion of older Americans will continue to grow over the coming decades, with the demand for services likely to grow as well.  A recent Government Accountability Office (GAO) study released in September 2010 cited that this will cause the cost of the Older Americans Act to expand at an unsustainable rate, even if current spending levels are advanced.  This study further recommended that the Department of Health and Human Services study the effectiveness of cost-sharing and means-tested benefits.

In an era of trillion-dollar deficits, and when the federal government is borrowing 43 cents for every dollar spent, accountability for government spending cannot be ignored.  Our children and grandchildren deserve better than to have this crushing debt burden passed onto them.  With this as my guiding principle, I will continue to keep your thoughts in mind should the reauthorization of the Older Americans Act come before the House of Representatives.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact my office. Please know that I will continue to work for my fellow Missourians in the legislative matters I am able to address.

It is a privilege to represent you and I hope that you will not hesitate to contact me regarding any matter where I might be of assistance. Please visit my website, where you can find more information on current issues, share further thoughts with me via email and subscribe to my e-newsletter for updates on issues you care about. 

Sincerely,

Todd Akin
Member of Congress

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Please feel free to visit my website at http://akin.house.gov/ to contact me and let me know the issues that concern you.

 

 

Mooned – Great photos

October 6, 2011
  How long it must have taken to set up these pictures to be so perfect!
Wonderful photos!

You have just been mooned!!

Bank of America fees petition

October 5, 2011
Bank of America announced a new $5 a month fee for purchasing anything with one of their debit cards. Really, $60 bucks a year just to use our own money. Consumers Union has launched a quick campaign to stop them, and I just sent a message to my lawmakers asking for an investigation. Other banks are considering such a fee as well, so I hope you willl join me. Just click here!

On the right: Ozone Hole. On the Left: Ozone depleting Chlorine Monoxide.

October 3, 2011
On the right: Ozone Hole. On the Left: Ozone depleting Chlorine Monoxide.

For the first time ever an ozone hole has developed over the Arctic. It’s taken scientists this long to analyze the data but about 13 miles up from the surface a hole developed this past winter like the ozone hole over the Antarctic. CFCs (Chroloflurocarbons) destroy the ozone, the ozone layer cools, more stratospheric clouds form & ozone destruction is much more efficient in the clouds…speeding up the proccess.

Feather Art

October 1, 2011